


You Need To Survive

by phenomenology



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't Get Excited, Ketsu is mentioned like two times, Tags will be added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2018-11-20 22:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phenomenology/pseuds/phenomenology
Summary: He had come to Mandalore – more specifically to the Wren Stronghold on Krownest – in the depths of winter.ORThat one AU where Ezra actually grew up with Sabine's family.





	1. You Can Smile As Long As We're Together

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was beta read by the ever lovely Liz but I did change things since I last had her read it so please forgive any mistakes.

He had come to Mandalore – more specifically to the Wren Stronghold on Krownest – in the depths of winter. Ursa Wren was stood on the southern balcony, overlooking the snow-covered forests, the greyish mountains curving upwards as they stretched for the skies. The icy docking pad lay uncovered on the ground beneath the balcony, awaiting a ship. It was as the distinct hum of a tired engine echoed through the silent valley, when Ursa’s youngest child came pattering outside to stand by her.

“Mother, who’s that?” Sabine’s little hand reached up to wrap her stubby digits around her mother’s middle and index fingers, just able to get her hand round Ursa’s slender fingers. Ursa’s height left Sabine’s head near her waist, her nine-year-old daughter barely able to see over the guardrail of their balcony. She knew this without having to look down at Sabine, Ursa’s gaze instead trained intently on the shuttle that was landing a story below them on the docking pad.

It was a rust bucket of a ship, perfect for travelling between worlds, rather overlooked by most Imperial officers and scanners. But judging by the fresh looking sear marks blackening parts of the starboard wing of the ship, Ursa could guess that the journey had not been remarkably peaceful. With a huff, Ursa peered down at her daughter and gently tugged her fingers free. Ignoring Sabine’s little whine of protest, Ursa turned her gaze back to the shuttle.

“We are going to have a guest for a while,” Ursa’s voice silenced Sabine’s whining, curiosity surging to the forefront of the child’s mind yet again. Standing on her toes, Sabine’s undersized hands reached for the edge of the rail so she could haul herself up a little to see over the edge. The ramp of the shuttle had just been lowered, steam hissing and billowing around the edges as the air inside the ship mingled with the chilled air outside. Sabine pulled herself up to perch on the edge of the little wall, ignoring her mother’s disapproving glare at her lack of dignity and decorum in doing so.

“We never have guests these days,” Sabine observed the empty boarding ramp, no one having gone in or come out yet. Turning her intelligent gaze towards Ursa, Sabine’s breath billowed around her lips in a foggy puff as she spoke. “Not since we got word of all that resistance stuff on Ryloth a couple years ago. Maybe the senators and officials are all too scared to travel to the Outer Rim anymore.”

“Hush, child,” Ursa scolded quickly, plucking Sabine easily off the rail and setting her down on the floor again. “You are not to speak so carelessly of galactic matters you do not yet fully understand.”

Despite Ursa’s sharp gaze, Sabine stuck her tiny hands on the miniscule curves of her hips and pouted unthreateningly. “I’m almost ten, Mother! You trust me with my blasters but not with gossip?”

“Just because you are far too intelligent for your age does not mean you get to reduce matters of the Imperial Senate down to mere gossip!” Ursa turned on her daughter, hand raised in warning. Sabine flinched noticeably, but did not cower away from her mother. Begrudgingly admiring her daughter’s spirit, Ursa lowered her hand and turned back to look down at the ship. A familiar figure was descending from the shuttle, his arms protectively wrapped around a bundled cloak that had two little uncovered feet sticking out at the bottom.

Before Ursa could say more, Sabine had hauled herself back up enough to peer over the edge, a delighted gasp dashing from the child’s lips as she dropped to the floor and scrambled to get inside. Sabine ignored the call of her mother behind her, flying past the house’s staff and other members in her haste to get downstairs. Taking the steps two at a time, Sabine landed on top of her older brother at the bottom, not having noticed him in her hurry.

“Sabine!” Tristan groaned under the nine-year-old’s weight. “Watch where you’re going.”

“Tristan!” Sabine squealed, stumbling to her feet and dragging Tristan along with her. “Father’s back!”

At this, Tristan’s eyes lit up, his annoyance at his younger sister’s antics suddenly gone as he followed her towards the front entrance of the Stronghold. The pair of siblings slid to a stop in the open foyer, their father toeing off his snow coated boots as he looked round at their commotion.

“Father!” Sabine squealed with joy, launching herself towards the man. His deep chuckle sent warmth blossoming in Sabine’s chest as she wrapped around her father’s legs. Her father’s laughter always made Sabine feel safe and comfortable, everything about him a contradiction of what a Mandalorian warrior was supposed to be. Sabine’s father was indeed Mandalorian, but his affiliation with the New Mandalorian government meant he was everything that Ursa was not. It was through her history lesson’s that Sabine knew her father to be a cousin of the late New Mandalorian leader Satine Kryze. Even though her death had come two years after Sabine’s birth, Sabine always figured that her name had come from the powerful leader to whom she was related.

Now her father’s warm, broad hand ruffled Sabine’s hair, mussing the carefully styled bun that it was in. Uncaring of her hair, Sabine beamed up at her father as Tristan came bouncing up beside her. Tilting his head curiously, their father straightened and frowned at the pair of children.

“Have you two grown taller since I’ve been gone?”

Sabine hid her laughter behind her little hands, eyes crinkling with her smile. Tristan tried to puff up his chest, aiming to draw himself up as much as an eleven-year-old could.

Laughing again, Sabine watched her father reach out to ruffle Tristan’s hair, drawing giggles from her brother’s lips. “It’s only been a couple days since I left and yet you’re chasing after my height, aren’t you?”

“One day I’ll be as tall as you, Father!” Tristan declared proudly from under his father’s gentle hand.

“I’m sure you will, son,” their father chuckled, pulling his hand away and readjusting his grip on the bundle in his arms.

“What’s that, Father?” Sabine asked curiously, stepping closer without fear and peering at the strangely shaped lump of cloak. The feet still stuck out at the bottom, dangling towards the floor and covered in dust, grime, and reddened with blisters and scabs. Crinkling her nose at the filthy state of the tiny appendages, Sabine looked back up to her father for explanation.

“This is our guest,” he explained in a softer tone. “I’m sure your mother told you already that we will be hosting someone for a little while. He’s asleep right now though, so-“

“So _do_ be on your best behavior, children,” Ursa’s voice cut in over her husband’s. “He’s a couple years younger than you, Sabine, so I expect you to be a model for him to follow while he is here.”

Nodding determinedly, Sabine watched as Ursa and a house staff member walked over to Sabine’s father. The staff member carefully took the little bundle from Sabine’s father and started upstairs as Ursa kissed her husband’s cheek in greeting.

“Welcome home, dear,” she murmured. “I suppose you ran into a bit of trouble, judging by the state of your shuttle?” It was only times like these – when Ursa spoke with her husband – that Sabine ever saw her mother as anything but stoic and commanding. Something about Sabine’s father softened Ursa, making her seem human. Even as young as she was, Sabine knew that was a dangerous weakness to have – especially for someone like her mother. But she also knew that her father was not a weak man, nor was her mother.

“We had a bit of a run in with some Imperial TIEs on the way out of the Lothal system, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle,” Sabine’s father reassured Ursa. He turned to look at Sabine, a hand wound around Ursa’s waist that held her close to his side.

“Sabine, darling, why don’t you go after Myra and make sure our new guest is made comfortable? He will be staying in the room beside yours for the time being.”

“Yes, Father!” Sabine nodded and dashed off back up the stairs, chasing the house staff down the hall towards her room. Myra had stopped in the washroom just down the hall from Sabine’s bedroom and the new guest’s room. She had the bundle propped up on the counter against the wall, her hands gently scrubbing away the dirt that had coated itself to the little feet. She was careful of the scabs and blisters as she went about her task; Myra was always careful.

Hopping up onto the counter on the opposite side of the little basin, Sabine peered curiously at the little face sticking out of the folds of what Sabine could now make out was her father’s cloak. Blinking sleepily out at Sabine was a small, rounded face of a child about her own age. His eyes, though lidded with exhaustion, were strikingly blue, set evenly around the bridge of his large nose, and seemed slightly swollen and the whites were tinted red.

Tipping her head to the side, Sabine directed her question to Myra. “Is he sick? His eyes look bad.”

“Be nice, child,” Myra chastised softly, a small, fond smile pulling the corners of her mouth upward. “He’s probably tired, and he might have been crying. It’s best to be sensitive and compassionate towards him, all right?”

Sabine nodded feverently, knowing that it was what her father would want her to do, too. But then she paused and stared at the boy again for a quiet moment. Myra’s hands continued their gentle scrubbing, the suds of the soap covering the traces of dirt in a gentle foam.

“Why would he have cried?” Sabine piped up after a few moments of silence.

“You’ll have to ask him, yourself,” Myra smiled. “I have no knowledge on that subject.”

As Sabine turned to the boy again, Myra turned on the water and started to meticulously scrub away the bubbly lather she had worked onto the child’s feet. Sabine wanted to ask directly, why this boy had been crying. But when she saw his tired eyes watching Myra’s hands on his feet, and heard the muffled sniffle the child so clearly tried to hide, her forwardness drained away. Instead, Sabine reached out a cautious hand and tapped where she thought the boy’s arm might be. His luminescent blue orbs shot to her face, looking more awake than Sabine had yet to see him.

“Hi,” she said softly, a grin pushing itself onto her face.

“Hi,” came the boy’s soft response, his voice hidden behind the cloak and quiet with exhaustion.

“I’m Sabine, and this is Myra,” Sabine introduced herself and the staff member. “What’s your name?”

The boy’s eyes flit between Sabine’s cheery smile and Myra’s kind expression before he looked back to Sabine again. He seemed to pull the cloak around himself a little tighter and Sabine was afraid that he was too scared and wouldn’t answer her.

But then his little voice struggled free from the folds of the cloak and said, “E-Ezra.”

Sabine smiled and giggled quietly as Myra started to rinse the lather off of Ezra’s feet. “You have a funny accent, Ezra. Where are you from?”

“You have a funny accent,” Ezra grumbled, the skin of his cheeks that peeked out of the cloak tinged pink with his embarrassment. “I’m from Lothal.”

“Why did my father bring you here? What about the rest of your family?”

At this, the skin around Ezra’s eyes pinched with distress and his eyes sparkled with a glassy sheen. He sniffled again and hiccupped softly. Eyes widening in panic, Sabine scooted a little closer, careful of the basin between them and reached out to Ezra.

“Wait, don’t cry! I didn’t mean to upset you!” Lowering her gaze, ashamed, Sabine bit her lip and spoke quietly. “You don’t have to answer, I was just curious.”

Ezra whined a little from the folds of the cloak, “Mama and Dad are g-gone. The troopers t-took them away.” He started crying in earnest as Myra and Sabine exchanged a horrified glance. Sabine was old enough to know that if Ezra’s parents had been taken away by stormtroopers, than things were worse than she had been made aware of. Troopers didn’t tear apart families for nothing, after all.

Myra scooped a now clean Ezra back into her arms and rocked him gently against her shoulder. “Come along, you two. I think Ezra needs some proper rest before dinner is served. Sabine, would you mind keeping him company while he naps?”

Not bothering to tell Myra that it would be pointless to keep the company of someone who was asleep, Sabine nodded and hopped off the basin’s counter. She trotted quickly after Myra as they approached the bedroom that Ezra would be staying in. With some gentle coaxing, Myra eventually got Ezra unwrapped from the large cloak and changed into warm pajamas. Even after he had been tucked into bed underneath two blankets, Ezra still shivered slightly as he lay curled into a ball on his side. Myra had left the two after making sure Ezra was comfortable to attend to her other duties around the household, leaving Sabine in charge of the child.

“Ezra?” Sabine questioned quietly. “Why are you still shivering?”

“I’m c-cold,” Ezra whimpered. “This place is so much colder than Lothal…I want to go h-home.”

Hearing the soft whine in Ezra’s voice that sounded like the beginning of tears, Sabine pulled herself into Ezra’s bed and crawled to his side, tucking herself underneath the heavy blankets beside him. “Don’t worry, Ezra!” Sabine chirped happily, wrapping her arms around her new housemate. “I’ll keep you warm! And soon you’ll get used to the weather here. It’s not often that it gets warmer here, but it’s always pretty!”

Ezra smiled a little at Sabine’s words, reaching out to wrap his small arms around Sabine and steal her body heat. He sniffed quietly and tried not to cry. He missed his parents, missed his mother’s warm smiles and gentle embrace, and missed his father’s deep voice and strong hands that would always protect Ezra from the troopers who tried to harass them. He missed his home, his bed and the peaceful quiet of his parents working just on the other side of the room. He missed the power of their voices when he would lay awake at night, eavesdropping on the transmissions they would record and broadcast to the system.

“I want to go home,” Ezra repeated, voice soft and barely there as his eyelids fluttered shut with the warmth provided. Sabine’s little voice gently shushed her new friend as he slipped quietly off to sleep. 

* * *

“Focus, Sabine!” Ursa’s powerful voice commanded from where she was stood on the balcony overlooking the snowy training field. Grunting with effort, Sabine dove sideways and rolled upon impact with the snowy ground, just barely avoiding the blaster shot that Ezra fired in her direction. His jovial laughter could be heard echoing across the field, muffled underneath the brightly painted helmet that Sabine had supplied him with when he had started training with her all those years ago.

Ezra had been so scrawny and scared when Sabine’s father had brought him to Krownest almost five years prior. But with Sabine’s positivity and insistent tugging for Ezra to join in her games and training, Ezra had opened up and started to learn how to fight. He would join her training sessions with Tristan and slowly but surely began to warm up to Sabine and her family. However, it was only after Ezra had saved Sabine from being crushed by a falling tree when they were out playing in the woods by levitating it that the Wren’s realized they had a Force sensitive child on their hands. Having heard the legends and rumors whispered among the house’s staff, Sabine worried that her parents would turn Ezra over to the Empire, as the Jedi had been wiped out from the galaxy not long after Sabine’s birth for treason against the Senate.

But Sabine’s parents decided to train Ezra to the best of their ability, Sabine’s father ultimately convincing Ursa that there was no need to turn Ezra in. He reasoned that since Ezra had never come in contact with the Jedi Order, there was no reason an innocent child that just happened to be Force sensitive should be punished for a crime he did not commit. Both Sabine and Ezra were grateful to the man for his wisdom.

“Sabine!” Ursa’s annoyed voice cut across her daughter’s reminiscing. “If you were in a real battle, you would have been long dead by now! I don’t know where your head is, but it needs to be back on your shoulders before I have Ezra purposely shoot you to keep you focused!”

Lazily waving a hand in the air to acknowledge that she had heard her mother’s warning, Sabine forced her focus back onto her friend. He was slowly prowling closer to her, colorful helmet standing in stark contrast to the snowy landscape they were training on. He cocked his blaster abruptly and fired a shot towards Sabine. Instead of reacting instantly, though, Sabine held her breath for a fraction of a second, watching the bolt with a trained eye to see where it would actually hit.

Ezra had developed the annoyingly accurate ability of knowing which direction Sabine would tuck and roll in before she had even moved. His Force sensitivity was unfair like that, and it had forced Sabine into learning how to wait and see which direction Ezra was actually firing in. Sometimes it worked, throwing Ezra’s prediction off when even Sabine herself hadn’t made a choice, and sometimes Sabine wasn’t as lucky and would sport a sore shoulder for a day or two.

This time however, Sabine simply dropped straight down into a crouch and aimed her own blaster at Ezra’s shoulder, the hiss of the missed bolt whizzing past above Sabine’s head. She fired and watched as Ezra merely sidestepped her shot and took aim again.

That was the other annoying part. Sabine rarely got to be on the other end of target practice these days, as Ezra had honed his Force sensitivity to bolts aimed at him long ago. But this game of back and forth was just as fun for both of them.

They continued for another twenty minutes before Ursa called for them to end training. She had other duties to attend to and it was clear that her children were at a stalemate. Ursa had taken to referring to Ezra as her own child two years after he had arrived, claiming that even though he was not Ursa’s own by blood, he had earned his place in the Wren household.

“The rest of the evening is yours, children,” Ursa called from the balcony as Sabine and Ezra tugged off their helmets. “Do try not to find yourselves in trouble. Dinner is in two hours and I would like to have a peaceful meal tonight instead of cleaning up a mess.”

Ezra and Sabine shared a sheepish grin as Ursa waved the two off before she turned to head back into the house. Shoving playfully at Sabine, Ezra sprinted off towards the lower entrance, cackling as Sabine scooped up a handful of packed snow to chuck at Ezra’s retreating back.

Ten minutes later saw Ezra sprawled on his back across Sabine’s bed, a datapad gripped carefully in his hands as he stared up at it, reading reports from across the nearby systems on the state of things. Ursa provided her children with the resources they needed to be familiar with local politics, economy, and public matters so that if the need ever arose, they would not unintentionally send a discussion awry. Sabine had her head pillowed on Ezra’s stomach, her feet dangling over the edge of her bed as she propped her own datapad on her stomach, scrolling through a report from Mandalore on a public assault case. She knew it was in her best interest to not become emotionally involved in mere reports that she could do nothing about, but skimming through the report showed that everything had spawned from baseless aggression.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Sabine switched off the datapad’s screen and tossed it onto the bed beside her. Reports like this were becoming more and more frequent in all of the neighboring systems and it disturbed Sabine. Innocent civilians were being caught up and dragged into violence for no reason other than that those in power felt that they were better than those of lower classes.

“Bean?” Ezra’s voice interrupted Sabine’s thoughts. She rolled her head to the side and looked up at her friend. He had set his own datapad aside and had tilted his head down to look at her. Reaching out, Ezra poked at Sabine’s furrowed brow, his lips quirking in amusement.

“You’re going to end up giving yourself wrinkles if you keep frowning like that. I already worry for Ursa’s skin, don’t make me worry about yours too.” Sabine scoffed and shoved his hand away, smiling despite herself as Ezra barked a laugh at her reaction.

“What were you thinking about that has you so upset?”

Sabine sighed again and gestured vaguely to her discarded datapad. “Another report from Mandalore on senseless violence caused by those in power. I don’t understand why they think they can get away with things like this when it puts the lives of the people they’re supposed to be protecting in harm’s way. It makes no sense and I feel so useless just sitting here day after day, training to fight a war that we may never see.”

Ezra’s expression had settled into one of neutral concern, his fingers brushing soothingly through Sabine’s hair as she huffed in frustration and closed her eyes. She had had this argument with Ursa several times over, receiving the same answer each time: it was none of their business. The Wren Clan’s mission was to protect their territory and their stronghold on Krownest; and that meant that there was no sense in sending valuable warriors to fight a battle that was not their own. Sabine saw the logic in her mother’s words, but she still couldn’t help the roiling frustration she felt in her gut each time another report showed up day after day.

“I know how you feel, Sabine,” Ezra sighed, his voice tired beyond his thirteen years. Sabine opened her eyes to look at him again, his fingers still pulling absently through her hair, the action more for his own comfort at this point than Sabine’s. “I still read through reports from Lothal, troopers arresting harmless and innocent farmers in the market because they don’t have their identification and license with them, ransacking homes and uprooting lives on baseless claims of rebellion and treason…it breaks my heart that I can’t do anything to help. But we’re here and we have a job to do, no matter how pointless it seems to us now. Maybe one day we’ll be able to do something.”

“Maybe,” Sabine agreed quietly, rolling her head back to look up at her ceiling. They passed a fair amount of time like that, simply laying together in companionable silence.

“Do you ever think about fighting with a lightsaber?” Sabine asked suddenly, her thoughts having wandered vastly in the silence.

Ezra lifted his head from the bed to stare down at Sabine. “What?”

“A lightsaber, the weapon of the Jedi,” Sabine explained, though she knew Ezra was aware of the weapon. “Do you ever think of finding or making one and training to fight with it? I mean, we’ve already been trained to fight with weapons similar to them. I can’t imagine it would be difficult for you to learn how to wield a saber.”

Ezra continued to stare at Sabine for a moment before he dropped his head back onto the bed. He hummed to the ceiling and gave a lazy shrug before answering.

“I guess I’ve never really thought about it before. Everything has been so focused on utilizing the powers I already wield with the weapons I have that it never really crossed my mind. I guess,” Ezra hesitated for a heartbeat. “It would be pretty cool to have one. But at the same time, if anyone outside of the Clan saw me with it…then it would probably put me in more danger than anything else.”

Sabine hummed through closed lips and continued to stare at the ceiling. She let her thoughts wander a little farther before Ezra’s spoken thoughts interrupted her this time.

“You know they won’t let me come with you next month, right?”

“To the Academy, you mean?”

“Yeah. They may think it’s a good idea for you, but there’s too much of a risk of them finding out that I’m Force sensitive and killing me or turning me into something…something I don’t want to be.”

Sabine released a long-suffering sigh at the thought of going to the Imperial Academy without her best friend. It would be hard to endure, but knowing that Ezra was safe at home brought Sabine comfort. She could still feel his slim fingers absently carding through her hair, cut short despite the disapproving line of Ursa’s lips when Sabine had proposed the idea. Ezra’s presence in her life was a comfort, a reminder of a home that she had always known. But she would be travelling away from home without him very soon. And she would have to learn to accept that.

“I know,” Sabine eventually murmured. “But at least you’ll be safe. I’ll try not to stay away too long. After all, mother has already assured that most of the basic curriculum from the Academy classes has been covered in my tutoring here. I’ll be home before you know it.”

Ezra chuckled and removed his hand from her hair to playfully poke her nose. “Of course you will be, Bean. You’re a genius. And I know we don’t really agree with their methods throughout the galaxy, but the Academy is still true to the ideals of the Empire. You’ll do great things there, I'm sure of it.”

Settling further into her mattress and Ezra’s warm, reassuring voice, Sabine felt content and safe.

* * *

ADMINISTRATION LOG IN: SERGEANT BYRELL

[Instructor’s Log]: Trainee Rank Update

[Subject]: Cadet SABINE WREN

Previous Rank – Cadet

New Rank – Traitor

[Notes]: Expelled alongside Cadet KETSU ONYO for rebellion

against the Empire for sabotaging equipment and data files

before fleeing the Imperial Academy of Mandalore while under fire.

Upon capture, Cadet SABINE WREN will face trial in front of the Imperial Senate for her crimes

[END LOG]

* * *

“Sabine?”

Ezra’s stunned voice, thick with sleep, startled Sabine where she was hastily shoving items into her bag, tears streaking down her cheeks as fury danced in her luminescent irises. She went stiff, hand halfway through persuading a fourth tunic into the backpack resting against her knee. Sabine had purposefully arrived in the middle of the night, knowing that Ezra would be most likely asleep or switching guard shifts and halfway to being asleep. She couldn’t face him, not now, not after everything that had happened. She had already confronted Ursa, her mother’s temper and judgment skewed and short with her husband off world and in the thick of a war. Ursa’s words still smarted, the shouted exchange brief but sending a clear message: Sabine was no longer wanted here on Krownest.

“Sabine, what’s going on?” Ezra spoke, voice hushed under the blanket of grey darkness that covered the Wren stronghold. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the Academy?”

Maybe it was Ezra’s innocence of the matter, the fact that he didn’t seem to know she hadn’t been at the Academy for two months now; maybe it was the exhaustion heavy in his voice, or maybe it was his warm hand, free of callouses and toil that slid comfortingly onto Sabine’s shoulder that broke her final defenses. No matter what it was that broke her, Sabine shattered regardless, a violent sob ripping past the flimsy defenses she had built up and spilled past her lips. Ezra’s hand retracted from her shoulder in surprise, and Sabine wanted nothing more than to reach out and drag him bodily back. She pleaded in her head with him not to leave her, too.

He must have heard her, because the next thing she knew, the backpack was shoved away from her knee and Ezra’s arms where holding her remains against his shoulder. Sabine’s arms immediately wrapped around Ezra’s middle and she sobbed into his tunic, pressing her face as close as she could.

It took a few minutes for Sabine to find her voice again, to clumsily piece enough of herself together to push Ezra back at arm’s length and choke out the words he needed to hear.

“It’s all my fault,” Sabine managed in a raspy, wrecked voice. Ezra eyed her with confusion but his hands never left where he was gripping her upper arms. Her own fingers tightened on his shoulders as she steeled herself to continue speaking.

“The Empire…the attacks on Mandalore and the other worlds, they’re using _my_ weapons, _my_ designs to do it. I d-didn’t know they would…but—”

“Sabine,” Ezra’s voice was steady and clear, the sleepy slur to it was gone and Sabine felt her stomach drop. He would cast her aside the same way Ketsu had left her behind, the way Ursa just had, the same way her entire Clan would because they would believe Ursa’s words and see Sabine for the traitor that she was. This was all her fault, even if she had destroyed her weapons files from the computers, the slaughtering of her people and the destruction of her home world was all her fault and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“It’s not your fault.”

Sabine stilled and looked up at her friend. She hadn’t seen him in the months since she had left for the Academy. It had been a long ten months, but here Ezra was, kneeling in front of her in the dimness of her bedroom, looking at her with the same level of trust and faith in her that she had departed with. The grey light made it hard to distinguish all of Ezra’s features, but even so Sabine could see a sharper line to Ezra’s jaw and could just make out the bit of length that had been added to his scruffy hair. He had grown while she had fallen apart.

“Ezra,” Sabine whispered, pained. “They’re using _my_ -”

“I don’t care,” Ezra cut her off. “You said that you didn’t know, so you obviously didn’t design whatever weapons they’re using with the intent of using them against your people. You are not at fault for how your work is used if you are not the one doing it.”

“Ezra…” Sabine said softly, exasperated, intending on arguing with him that she was solely to blame for all of this, but he quickly diverted the topic.

“Why are you packing? Where are you going?”

“Mother—” Sabine choked and tried again. “I spoke with her about what happened, and she’s made it very clear that I am no longer welcome…no longer wanted. So I’m leaving. I don’t know where I’m going but I’ll figure it out once I’m off this planet.”

Ezra studied Sabine’s face for a prolonged moment, silent as his bright blue eyes flit over her face. Then: “I’m coming with you.”

“Ezra, no,” Sabine protested immediately. “You can’t. You have a place and a purpose here, and I won’t take that from you. You don’t know everything that’s happened, I have no idea where I’m going, it will be dangerous, and I probably won’t be able to live properly for a while. I won’t let you come with me as an outcast.”

“All I need to know is that Ursa turned you out, most of the Clan is likely to follow suit, and I won’t be one of them. There is no point in me staying here if I’m on your side, so I’m coming with you, and you can’t stop me. The Academy was different, and being here without my best friend was awful, but I could withstand it since I knew exactly where you were. But this is different. I won’t stay here without knowing where you are. And this isn’t some ‘you need me’ ploy, Bean. I need you. You’re one of the only friends I’ve ever had, so I’m coming.” 

With that, Ezra stood and walked out of the room, Sabine stared after him with the tear tracks on her cheeks slowly drying. The backpack she had mostly stuffed full with essentials laid tipped over on the floor. Numbly, she reached for it and finished putting the things she would need in it. Shoving unsteadily to her feet, Sabine stumbled to her weapons cache and strapped her blasters to her hips and tucked a knife into her bag. When she turned to face the open doorway of her bedroom, Ezra stood there, illuminated dimly by the faraway hall light and his own bag slung over one shoulder.

“Let’s go,” he said in a hushed voice. “We can take my cruiser. I doubt we will meet much resistance.” 

Sabine nodded faintly and took his outstretched hand in her own. They moved swiftly and silently down the hall towards one of the back stairwells of the house. As they dashed nimbly down the lower corridor towards the door that would lead them to the makeshift docking bay at the rear of the stronghold, faint footsteps that were not their own reached the pair’s ears. Ezra tugged Sabine sharply against the shadows of the wall, hoping that whoever it was would not turn their direction at the nearby juncture.

A shadowed figure turned the corner near the pair and startled upon almost running into Ezra’s shoulder. Before either of them could react, a soft, familiar voice spoke, “Ezra? Sabine?”

“Myra,” Ezra’s breath left him on the household worker’s name, his shoulders deflating beside Sabine. The woman’s warm brown eyes met both of theirs, curious as to their intentions but not malicious in anyway.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Myra whispered, sadness thick in her words as her eyes flit over the bags slung across each of the teens’ shoulders. At Ezra’s nod of confirmation, Myra’s lips pressed into a tight line. “I figured you would, after I heard about Ursa’s meeting with Sabine.”

When the woman’s gaze slid to her, Sabine threw herself at Myra and hugged her fiercely. Myra startled and stood frozen for a heartbeat before she wound her own arms around the trembling Mandalorian girl. Sabine buried her face in Myra’s shoulder, finding comfort in the woman’s gentle embrace. More than her own mother, Sabine found reassurance and gentle hands to tend to her wounds throughout the years of combat and training from Myra. Ever since that day when she had cleaned Ezra’s filthy little feet when they were young, Myra had watched after the two of them as they grew. She would be one of the few people Sabine would genuinely regret leaving behind.

“Be safe, little ones,” Myra murmured into Sabine’s hair before gently detaching herself from the clinging hold. “Hurry now, and get away from here. Stay together, and only send word that you’re safe to me when you are sure you won’t be tracked. I hope you both find refuge somewhere far more peaceful than here.”

Sabine wanted to say so much to Myra, to the woman who had looked after her and Ezra all these years. She, at the very least, wanted to give her simple thanks, but the lump lodged in her throat prevented Sabine from speaking at all.

“Thank you, Myra,” Ezra said, his voice thick as he wrapped his hand around Sabine’s wrist. “For everything.” 

Myra beamed at the two teenagers through tears before urgently gesturing for them to move. Sabine craned her neck to watch Myra stand still for a moment longer, staring after them, before turning and heading deeper into the house. Looking forwards once she could no longer see Myra, Sabine wiped hastily at her eyes with her free hand and let Ezra guide the both of them to his cruiser.


	2. Non, je ne regrette rien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is self indulgent gay nonsense so don't mind me.

Four Years Later  


_“Blue, what’s your position?”_

The burst of static over the comm that preceded the softly spoken words made the figure’s head twitch a little to the side in irritation. Their comm, built into the helmet that masked their features from those who might just so happen to see them, was positioned right beside their ear. Standing shrouded in shadows on a deserted rooftop, the twin moons hanging low on the horizon in the dark sky above, the figure’s voice responds, low and soft.

“Half a klick west of the drop point. Not much activity yet, but I’m ready to move.”

_“Perfect,”_ the figure’s companion responded in a hushed tone. _“I’m waiting at the rendezvous with 264. Gold checked in half a klick east of the drop point.”_

“You brought 264 along?” The figure asked, voice holding a note of mild distaste as they scanned the area. “Don’t you remember last time, Five?" 

_“Hey, 264 didn’t mean to set the cargo on fire. It was a malfunction with some of his wiring, which I’ve fixed by the way. So he’s getting another chance.”_

The fondness in Five’s voice left Blue rolling his eyes. They had been lucky to get away with anything after the repurposed astromech had nearly destroyed everything in the shipment. While Blue knew it hadn’t been intentional, the slip up had put them almost a week behind on the deliveries they had promised across the system. He wanted to remind Five of as much, but as he opened his mouth to do so, Blue was cut off.

_“Five,”_ a third voice chimed in over the comm, sounding calm but amused. _“Shouldn’t we be maintaining radio silence? I know this is a secure link, but the Empire is all around us and given what we’re about to do, maybe we should stick to mission chatter only?”_

_“Right, sorry,”_ Five mumbled, embarrassment clear in her tone at being called out. Gold may be younger than both Five and Blue, but he definitely had the most level head and clearest focus when it came to missions. It was helpful in keeping the two older ones grounded, as they tended to engage in banter whenever the opportunity arose. Which was often.

Pushing out a quiet sigh, Blue leaned somewhat casually against the wall beside him. The rooftop of the building he was currently perched on top of butted directly up against another one that was a few stories higher. The shadows it provided were useful for cover as Blue awaited his signal. The Imperial convoy should be arriving within a couple minutes, but until then, Blue and his crew were simply waiting.

Everything remained quiet for a couple more minutes, Blue meticulously checking and rechecking the load on his blaster as he waited calmly for the convoy to show. His heartbeat leapt a beat when there was a suddenly a voice in his ear over the comm link.

_“Convoy spotted, landing in less than two minutes. The guards will wait for the pilot and the crew to exit the ship before they start going in to unload. Your prime window is right after the crew starts getting off.”_

“Roger that Red,” Blue responded, voice hushed in anticipation as he straightened up and started moving towards the edge of the rooftop, leaving the shadows of the larger building behind him. “I’m moving to the hanger now.”

_“I’m on the move, too,”_ Gold’s voice crackled softly into Blue’s ear. _“Ready to engage when you are, Blue.”_

Blue turned his focus to the gap between buildings steadily approaching him. Taking a deep breath, he started sprinting a little faster than the pace he had set before pushing off easily and soaring through the air to tuck and roll safely to his feet on the other roof. Giving himself a little shake to dispel the force of the impact, Blue kept running, crouched low and sticking to the shadows on the rooftops as he continued moving. Eventually, he slowed to a stop at the edge of the hanger’s roof.

“In position,” Blue whispered to the comm link, waiting to hear from Gold. Less than a heartbeat later, he heard Gold’s voice confirm his position before the comm link went silent again. Scanning the mostly empty hanger bay, Blue spotted a squad of six guards standing a few meters back from the convoy’s lowered ramp, waiting for the crew to leave the ship as Red had told them they would. Aside from the guards, there appeared to be no other Imperials in the hanger.

They didn’t have to wait long before there was movement at the ramp of the ship, someone who was clearly the pilot stepping down into the hanger bay and saluting the stormtroopers who nodded in return.

“The pilot’s just got off the ship,” Blue relayed to the comm link, fingers tightening on his blaster.

_“The crew shouldn’t be too far behind. Your window is approaching, boys.”_ There was a moment of silence from Red on the comm before his voice was in Blue’s ear and his alone, a private, temporary link. _“Good luck, Blue…be safe.”_

“I will,” Blue said just as softly, smiling a little to himself underneath his helmet.

Blue’s attention was abruptly shifted back to the hanger bay in front of him when the rest of the crew left the ship and Gold’s voice sounded in his ear, calling for the two of them to move in and get to work. Dropping lightly from his perch at the edge of the roof, Blue took careful, swift aim at the squad of troopers just starting to move towards the now unmanned convoy, still full of the shipment of supplies that had been brought in. Firing three accurate shots, Blue watched the three closest troopers fall to the ground, clutching at their shoulders or legs where the laser bolts had seared through their armor.

Rushing the ship, Blue shouted warnings at the crew, leveling his blaster with them and daring any of them to move or try anything funny. The pilot and four crewmembers held their hands up in panic, staring wide-eyed at the vigilante holding them at gunpoint. Gold had made quick work of the other three troopers, sending them to the ground with serious but non-fatal wounds that would give the vigilantes enough time to flee with the ship.

Continuing to point his blaster at the crew, Blue waited for Gold to scramble aboard the ship, the unspoken order of retreat carried out seamlessly. Blue was always the last one to escape, covering his team no matter what to ensure successful missions. He didn’t always escape unscathed, much to Red’s chagrin, but it was a rare occurrence and it kept the team safe.

The ship’s engines roared back to life behind Blue, beginning to lift off from the ground and kicking up the air fitfully around those on the ground. Blue quickly backed up the slowly ascending ramp, keeping his blaster leveled with the crew and injured troopers. Some of them were reaching for their blasters, trying to do something as they fought through the pain.

But it was too late. Blue and Gold had the ship up in the air and out of the hanger before the troopers could do anything to stop them.

“Mission successful,” Blue reported briefly into his comm, the ramp closing securely behind him as he made his way through the ship to Gold in the cockpit. “We are on our way to the rendezvous point now.”

_“Perfect,”_ Red’s voice chirped happily over the link. _“Five and 264 are waiting to help you unload the supplies.”_

* * *

One shuttle transfer and a successful redistribution of supplies later found the small ragtag team of vigilantes sitting around in their ship as they celebrated another victory. The starving refugees on Lothal had greatly appreciated the Imperial supplies and food that the little team had dropped off at the camp. That was always the best part, seeing the hope and gratefulness in their eyes even after everything they had been through. In Blue’s mind, it was always worth the risk just to see those people happy.

It also helped his mood that it meant the Imperials were inconvenienced by his team’s interference.

“You’re daydreaming again, Ezra,” a voice murmured fondly in his ear, followed by a quick peck to his cheek. Ezra huffed out a soft laugh and tugged Jai down beside him on the sofa.

“Just reveling in the sweet feeling of victory,” Ezra teased, dragging his fingers through Jai’s messy hair. “You should be too, after all. We wouldn’t be nearly as successful without you guiding us over the comm.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jai beamed, chest puffing up a little with pride at the praise.

“Hey, don’t go giving him a big head,” Sabine warned from where she was lounging in a chair across the common space. 264 chirped and beeped beside her and they laughed at the droid’s sass. Their final team member came back from the galley, carrying a tray of food for everyone and smiling warmly at the relaxed atmosphere and his comfortable teammates.

“Zare, you are honestly my hero,” Ezra said with as much seriousness as he could muster. “Your food is amazing and I think we would all have died a long time ago if you weren’t part of our team.”

“You’re just saying that because he made your favorite soup,” Jai laughed as he gratefully accepted a bowl of the steaming broth from Zare.

“That is exactly why I’m saying it,” Ezra beamed, also accepting a bowl from his friend. “But I would still think that even without the soup.”

“Sure you would,” Zare drawled as he carried a bowl over to Sabine before sitting down on the other side of the table from her. Jai leaned into Ezra’s side as they all tucked into their soup. They passed conversation idly back and forth between them, 264 rolling off at some point to keep an eye on the controls for the ship.

Things were peaceful and comfortable, and it was evenings like this when Ezra fondly remembered forming their little team – their own little family.

Jai and Zare had come together, friends that had been stuck in the Imperial Academy on a planet near Ezra’s home of Lothal. He and Sabine had been travelling from place to place after they had escaped Krownest. Ezra had wanted no part in anything to do with the Imperial Academies after what had happened to Sabine, and he thought that she would share a similar sentiment. But in fact, Sabine had been adamant about saving the two boys from the Academy, not wanting them to have to go through anything like what she had experienced.

Zare had originally gone into the Academy in search of his sister, who had been a cadet herself but then disappeared without much explanation from the Empire. After months of dangerous collection of information, Zare had finally discovered that his sister had been alive for a long while after her disappearance, but was now dead as a result of an accident. He had wanted to escape from the Academy, not wanting any part in their plans after learning the truth.

Jai had been there with an honest drive of wanting to become a stormtrooper, a desire to do good and contribute to the Empire. But after learning about some of the Empire’s unsavory tactics when it came to expanding their rule and suppressing others, he had wanted to find a way out. Things only became more perilous after an Inquisitor started keeping an eye on Jai, speculation about Force sensitivity being passed around between his instructors.

The two boys were friends in the Academy and had somehow rigged up a device that would send out a distress signal that the Empire couldn’t easily track. Sabine and Ezra had been the ones to pick up on the call and answered only because of Sabine’s determination to save them.

Ezra hadn’t been as sure about that rescue mission, but now he would – without a doubt – always claim that it was the smartest choice they had ever made.

But maybe he was a little biased. He and Jai had been together for almost three years now, starting from just a few months after picking Jai and Zare up from the Academy.

Ezra and Sabine had been put into a situation not long after picking the two boys up, where Sabine’s mother had somehow managed to track them down and demanded that Ezra return home. She could have cared less about Sabine, saying that if her daughter came back to Krownest, Ursa would lock her up for what had happened with the Academy. Ezra had stood up for Sabine, saying that neither of them would be coming back and Ursa was free to never contact them again. This had put them in a complicated situation that essentially meant they could never travel to Mandalorian space without risking their lives, and so Zare and Jai had to be told of their pasts and of what had happened at the Academy. They had been entirely understanding and reassured Sabine that what had happened was not her fault, much like Ezra had.

Jai’s fingers tugging gently at Ezra’s hair pulled him back to reality, glancing at Jai with an eyebrow raised in question.

“You were wandering again,” Jai answered simply, readjusting himself so he could lay with his head in Ezra’s lap, staring up at his boyfriend with an innocent smile tugging at his lips. Ezra chuckled at the sight and dropped his hand into Jai’s hair, giving the deep red strands a teasing tug before he started to absently pull his fingers through Jai’s locks.

“You two are so gross,” Sabine groaned from across the common area.

“I know,” Jai beamed at her, turning his head against Ezra’s leg to look at her. “Isn’t it great? We’re just so cute.”

“Wow,” Zare deadpanned from the other side of the table. “I didn’t think it was possible for them to get any worse, but it just did.”

“Oh, shut up, Zare,” Jai stuck his tongue out at his friend as Sabine and Ezra dissolved into laughter. “I have to get all the stupid affection from Ezra that I can! You guys are doing another pick up tomorrow so I won’t be able to smother him as much as I want to.”

“Speaking of that pick up,” Sabine stood from her seat and stretched leisurely. “Dinner was great and all but we have to be up and ready by 04:00 so we should all head to bed.”

“Yes, mom,” Jai mocked as he squirmed around to latch more firmly onto Ezra’s side. Winding an arm around his needy boyfriend, Ezra smiled at Sabine and gave her a small salute in acknowledgement. Rolling her eyes, Sabine dismissively waved goodnight to the two of them and headed for her room.

“Don’t stay up too late being mushy,” Zare tossed over his shoulder as he followed Sabine towards the bedrooms on the other side of the ship. 

Ezra and Jai fell into comfortable silence after the other two left, Jai settling against Ezra’s side as he began to trace absentminded patterns into the fabric of Ezra’s pants. Gently pulling Jai that much closer into his side, Ezra gave him a little shake, getting his attention from where Jai was engrossed in his drawing task.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You’ll come back tomorrow, right?”

“Jai,” Ezra sighed quietly. “We’ve been through this before and—”

“And it doesn’t matter,” Jai cut Ezra off sharply. “I need to ask you each time so I know you remember that being reckless and self sacrificing for this stuff isn’t worth it if you can’t come home at the end of the day. I need you, Sabine needs you, Zare needs you, we all need you here. So please, don’t be stupid or reckless, okay? I know you’re a good fighter and I know you want to save everyone but please…for me, just be careful and look after yourself. I don’t want to repeat what happened last time…”

“Hey, Jai,” Ezra gently interrupted him before Jai could get caught up in worried anxiety. “Last time was an accident, and I’m sorry it scared you so badly. But I’ll do my best this time to be careful. I know that we’re taking a risk doing two jobs so close together like this, but I’ll have Zare and Sabine to watch my back and you on comm like always. Things will be fine.”

Jai nodded and sniffled a little, looking up at Ezra solemnly. “You forgot about 264.”

“That droid doesn’t know my back from my front, I don’t care what Sabine says. I don’t trust 264.”

Jai hid a watery giggle behind one hand as he pushed himself back into Ezra’s side, sighing quietly. Burying his nose in Jai’s hair, Ezra breathed in quietly, reveling in the presence of someone he cared about endlessly being safe and secure in his arms. The morning would bring the usual danger for their motley family, but at least for now, it was peaceful.

* * *

_“Cargo should be arriving soon. Gold, Blue, are you two in position to intercept?”_ Jai’s voice filtered through Ezra’s comm and he nodded to himself before answering, eyes scanning his surroundings as he did.

“I’m in position, ready when you are Gold.”

_“I’m ready, too. Five, are you and 264 prepared for laying down cover?”_

_“Roger that,”_ Sabine’s voice joined their little conversation. _“I’ve got some colorful new explosives I’ve been dying to test out. So, fair warning you guys might come out of this a little more colorful than usual.”_

Ezra chuckled softly to himself as he readjusted the grip on his plaster, checking the load habitually before giving it a quick little tap against his hip. These motions were familiar, routine, and comforting; it had almost turned into a pre-mission sort of ritual for him but he also tried not to put too much thought or faith into the actions.

Things could backfire with or without the little routine.

_“Cargo incoming,”_ Jai’s voice spoke up suddenly. _“Gold, Blue, I would get a move on if I were you.”_

_“On my way,”_ Zare’s voice answered almost immediately. Ezra shifted his grip on his blaster one last time before he started running low across the rooftops he had perched himself on for a better vantage point. He responded to Zare and Jai as he moved, letting them know that he was on the move as well and was on track for their plan.

_“Be careful, Blue,”_ Jai’s voice was soft in Ezra’s ear as he leapt from building to building. _“Remember what I said last night, come home safe.”_

“I’ll do my best, Red,” Ezra promised quietly, grateful as always for these little private links that Jai would set up pre-mission. It gave them the freedom to express some genuine sentiment and love towards each other without having to endure teasing or awkwardness from Zare and Sabine. It’s not that the other two wouldn’t understand, but it just meant more to them when it was a private exchange of words.

“Ready, Gold,” Ezra said when the telltale beep of his group comm coming back online sounded. “In position at your twelve.”

_“I see you,”_ Zare answered. _“The cargo is just now landing so we have about thirty seconds before we need to dive in there for optimum surprise factor.”_

After that, things went smoothly, following their usual plan almost perfectly to the point where Ezra was starting to feel suspicious as to why they were having such great luck on this mission. By all standards and past mission trials, the Empire should have been onto them since they had just pilfered from them last night. But Ezra was not going to question this luck too much when they were so close to finishing up and getting home.

Things were fine.

Until Ezra noticed the explosives lined along the shuttle wall.

Zare was clamoring into the hold, about to make a break for the pilot’s chair so he could get the craft airborne and get them out of this hanger. The troopers were starting to recover from Sabine’s colorful bombs and were beginning to target Ezra and Zare. 

“Gold!” Ezra shouted desperately, reaching out toward his friend and feeling a tug in his gut as some unseen power bodily threw Zare from the shuttle just moments before the first bomb went off. Ezra felt himself being thrown from the loading ramp, feeling weightless for a suspended moment before his body slammed painfully into the cold, unforgiving floor of the docking bay. Searing pain lanced across Ezra’s back and left him breathless and helpless. Zare’s voice sounded from above Ezra as the world faded and spun and shattered into a kaleidoscope of images and colors. Sabine and Jai’s voices were a distant din in his ear as Ezra’s consciousness slipped away from him.

* * *

The world came back slowly, Ezra’s hearing coming into focus before any of his other senses. There was the soft puffs of breath of someone resting to Ezra’s left, his body catching up just slightly now and telling him that he had been sleeping on his stomach. Wherever they were was pleasantly warm and Ezra only felt mild discomfort across his back, probably from sleeping in the wrong position.

Going to stretch, Ezra found that he couldn’t, something between a pained gasp and whimper slipping out of him and clearly alerting the figure beside him that he was now somewhat awake. There was a small shuffling movement heard and then a warm, familiar hand carding through Ezra’s hair.

“Ezra?” Jai’s soft, concerned voice coaxed Ezra to open his eyes. They felt dry and ached like he had been sleeping for a really long time. Grunting in answer to Jai’s call, Ezra blinked lethargically and sought out Jai’s face from his awkward position on his stomach.

“Oh, thank the stars, you’re awake,” Jai’s voice sobbed, his hand settling a little more firmly in Ezra’s hair as he said this. “We were so scared the shock and the burns were going to do you in. For the love of—Ezra I told you to come home safe, not come home battered and burned and unconscious for three days! Don’t ever do that again, do you understand me?”

Ezra was still out of his own head, reality not quite grounded in his senses and only about half of what Jai was saying to him really filtered through and stuck in his mind. Regardless, he nodded in Jai’s direction if only to calm him down and reassure Jai that he was still awake. Memories of the mission, the explosion, were coming back to him now.

“How are you feeling?” Jai asked, his voice softer and hand gentler, concern winning out over his worried anger.

“Like I’ve been laying in the same position for three days.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that,” Jai sighed tiredly. “Your back was burned pretty badly and you dislocated your left shoulder when you were thrown from the explosion. You’re probably lucky that was all that happened. If you had been any further into the ship…” Jai trailed off, his voice weak at the end of his unfinished sentence, but the possibility of what could have happened hung in the air between them anyway, unspoken but acknowledged.

“I wasn’t,” Ezra reassured Jai quietly, feeling more grounded and unfortunately meaning he could also feel the pain shooting through his back more prevalently now.

“I know,” Jai murmured. “I can’t believe I missed that the ship was a decoy. The Empire really was onto us…this is all my fault.” 

“No, it’s not your fault,” Ezra grunted as he twisted to try and look up at Jai. He was immediately scolded for trying to do so but at least it got Jai to sit at Ezra’s eye level so they could talk more easily. They ended up just looking at each other for a while, though; soaking in each other’s presence and basking in the fact that they were both alive.

“I did something…on the shuttle,” Ezra murmured after a while, his eyelids feeling heavy again.

“Zare told me about what happened…Sabine thinks you managed to use the Force. Honestly, I think we all forgot you even _were_ Force sensitive until now. You’ve never tried to use it before.”

“I don’t think I tried to then either…” Ezra whispered. “I just…I just wanted to save Zare.” Ezra took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes for a moment, hyper-aware of the pain in his back that was slowly fogging over his mind. He would probably have to go back to sleep soon to avoid the worst of the pain.

“Jai?” Ezra opened his eyes with effort and found his boyfriend’s warm brown eyes staring worriedly back at him. “Where are Bean and Zare? Are they okay?”

A fond smile curled at the corners of Jai’s mouth, his eyes flickering over towards the door of their bedroom. He looked back at Ezra with a quiet chuckle and shook his head fondly.

“They’ve been taking turns sitting outside your room in case anything happens. I’m surprised they haven’t barged in yet.”

“Can I see them? I think I’m going to fall asleep again soon, but I wanna see them.” Ezra tried and failed to suppress a yawn, his jaw aching with the movement while his eyes watered from the force of it.

“Sure,” Jai pulled his fingers carefully through Ezra’s hair one last time before he stood and walked over to the door. The door hissed as it slide open, revealing Sabine and Zare propped up against the wall opposite the bedroom and looking exhausted and anxious. Ezra felt a twinge of guilt in his chest, knowing that they looked like that because of him. Regardless of their obvious exhaustion, the moment Sabine and Zare spotted Jai, they had scrambled to their feet and were asking quietly about Ezra’s condition. Jai murmured to them softly and Ezra was too tired to try and make out what was being said, but a few moments later, Sabine’s tear stained face was in front of his.

“Hey,” Sabine managed a watery smile. “Finally awake, lazy bones?”

“Yep,” Ezra croaked, his throat starting to feel a little dry. “Best nap I ever had.”

Sabine huffed a shaky laugh and wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand. “You’re impossible. And so, so brave. My little brother is incredible.”

Ezra smiled a little wider at her praise, knowing that she meant it even if Sabine had been scared out of her mind. Shuffling a little on his stomach and trying not to hiss at the pain, Ezra looked up at Sabine with pride swelling in his chest as he remembered Sabine’s explosives.

“I think you should use those paint bombs more often,” Ezra chuckled. “The troopers looked so funny with tie-dyed armor. Plus, the actual explosions were so cool to look at.”

“We should definitely use those things more,” Zare’s voice spoke up from behind Sabine as he moved into Ezra’s line of sight. “Everyone was so confused by the colors that they couldn’t get into order. It really helped.”

Ezra felt some tension bleed from his muscles at finally seeing both his sister and Zare safe and whole in front of him. It was even reassuring for him to hear the familiar clicks and beeps from 264 out in the hall. Zare took Sabine’s place by the bed after a moment, his gold eyes filled with concern even as he smiled at Ezra.

“You saved my life back there, Ezra,” Zare said quietly, sincerely. “Thank you. I’m sorry it was at your cost, but thank you.”

“Anytime man,” Ezra grinned. “I told you all that I would make sure you all got home safe no matter what.”

“Please don’t encourage him, Zare,” Jai said, kneeling down beside Zare at the bed. “He’s heroic enough as it is, he doesn’t need a bigger head to convince him to pull this kind of shit again.”

Ezra pouted at Jai, whining about how mean he was to the sound of Zare’s laughter. Jai placed his hand on Ezra’s head again and shook his head fondly at him.

“You need to rest, Ezra,” Jai insisted. “Now that you’ve woken up, I think I can rest a little easier. Zare, you and Sabine need to sleep too. Like, in your beds instead of on the floor outside. I don’t feel like tripping over either one of you again.”

“Fine, fine,” Sabine spoke from across the room. “I’m ready for a nap anyway. Let’s go, Zare, before Jai’s inner mother comes out and starts berating us.”

“That was one time!” Jai protested as Sabine and Zare bid Ezra good night and walked out chuckling at Jai’s indignant protests. Grumbling to himself, Jai helped Ezra take some medicine for the pain before he busied himself with cleaning up some medical supplies that were laid out near the bed.

Ezra reached out, grasping at Jai’s hand, despite his shoulder protesting the movement, and gave it a gentle squeeze. Jai’s attention was directed back to his sleepy boyfriend, concern folding a crease between his eyebrows as he knelt down to Ezra’s level. Gentle fingers brushed Ezra’s bangs away from his eyes as Jai gave a quiet, tired sigh.

“Are you really okay? Or were you just putting on a brave face for them?”

“My back still really hurts,” Ezra confessed, giving Jai’s hand another squeeze. “But I’ll survive, so it’s really not that bad.”

Heaving another sigh, Jai returned a squeeze to Ezra’s hand and moved to get comfortable in the makeshift bed he had created on the floor near Ezra. Usually they shared a bed, but Jai didn’t want to risk it with Ezra’s injury so he slept as close as possible on the floor. Ezra made a noise of displeasure from above him but one look from Jai quieted him.

“Sleep, you big baby,” Jai muttered fondly before he settled beneath the blankets he had dragged in from somewhere else in their ship. Ezra wasn’t far behind him, dropping off easily with the help of the medicine he had taken earlier, content in the knowledge that his family was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly, I've taken some liberties with canon and changed some timeline things up. I think I got this idea off Tumblr through a conversation with someone else but honestly it's been twenty-seven years so who knows at this point. Shout at me if you want. Comments and kudos always appreciated.


End file.
